A Cariad Life

This week was one of those times when I had two blog posts in me, and I really needed to unpack a few things…we’ve been here in France for 3 1/2 months and just finished our 2nd month of being inn keepers. Last weekend, we hosted our 100th guest, and we continue to meet new and interesting people.

I’ll start by thanking so many of you who have expressed how you enjoy reading these blogs and your encouragement to keep writing…I plan on continuing. While I am so pleased that these posts resonate with you, many of you faithfully reading them every week, and while I also love that they keep me connected to so many family and (new and old) friends, I have to confess that I really blog because writing is cathartic for me (always has been!) Every week when I sit down to write, it gives me the opportunity to process what I have seen or heard, my feelings and reactions to those experiences, and my reflections on who I am and how I am changing. This particular blog has always been about the continued journey Darrell and I are on, not just to France, but who we are and who we are becoming while we are here. This is the reason I don’t link the blog to the Repos a Riberac Facebook or Instagram pages, just my personal FB page. While you can get to the B&B social media sites via a link on my blog, one won’t find my blog link on those pages. The purpose of those sites is different than the purpose of this blog. I love when people share the blog though–so feel free to share with your friends and family if you think they may enjoy reading about this journey.

I also want to take a moment to keep it really real–you may know that I tend to paint my experiences a bit “rosier” than other people may. It’s not that I don’t see or experience negative things, I just try to see the positive first and believe overall people are doing the best they can. So, when people act completely contrary to that, when they are cruel, unfair, and dishonest, it hits me hard. That happened this past week with a couple of guests. I am not naive; I know after having worked in several jobs to include HR and having worked over the last 25 years with thousands of people, that that not everyone will be happy and people can disappoint. Darrell and I knew that eventually in this job we would encounter guests that just could not be pleased, no matter how hard we tried, and that they may even publicly state their feelings–we were ready for that. I wasn’t quite ready for someone to be dishonest and cruel–that stung.

I know hurting people, hurt others, and that when things like that happen–after considering first “where my fingerprints are” on the situation, I have to realize that sometimes people are just dealing with a lot and they don’t always process it well. One of my favorite quotes is “there isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you really knew their story.” Everyone has a story, a reason or reasons they show up as they do and when your job is to interact with people daily, you will encounter the impact of that story.

So, in the spirit of this blog, I had to be reminded of the following this week: People are not perfect; and, not everyone will think what you do (or who you are) is great. Sometimes they bring in their own unrealistic expectations of who they think you should be and are offended when you don’t meet those. Further, they may choose to put you on the receiving end of their unhappiness, in ways that are destructive. I am learning to sit with those feelings (for a bit) and remind myself who I am and how I want to respond–ultimately, choosing to forgive (Darrell has written some amazing blogs about this topic by the way–here’s the link, if you’re interested). Every day, I learn more about who I want to be, regardless of how other people act. It’s hard though. I also remind myself that the vast majority of people I meet are kind, interesting, and delightful. They cheer for our success and comment publicly how they feel welcomed and cared for in our home. That’s what I hold to…that and I know who I am and the care I try to extend to everyone I meet…I won’t anyone tell me differently about that:)