A Cariad Life

First, today is special because our youngest son, Caleb, turns 19 today! We are so proud of the young man he has become–he is kind, wise, charming, witty, and smart. It’s so hard not being there with him today and celebrating, as we normally do, with a Betty Crocker Devil’s Food Cake with dark chocolate fudgy icing (his request every year!) and singing Happy Birthday to him over and over. This move has brought a lot of sacrifices, but none more significant than all of us being 8000 km or 5500 miles apart and missing some significant life events. Our sons have given up a lot in support of our dreams. I hope he has the very best day and weekend with his great network of friends. Joyeux Anniversaire, Caleb!

As of this coming week, we will have been in France for three months, with about 6 of those 12 weeks as French visa holders. Not only has time flown, we’ve been busy learning and adjusting to our new French life. I’ve decided to share the collection of those experiences here in a potpourri of thoughts. (Funny, “potpourri” is actually a French word, and although for us it has a pleasant connotation of dried flowers that bring a fragrance to a room, the literal meaning in French is “putrid pot.”)

Our Business:

Upon starting the B&B on January 21, we became very busy. The first month, we had at least 5 sold out nights and most nights we were 50-75% full with no nights off. Finally, after about 2.5 weeks, we blocked a night to get some rest, and on a couple of other nights, we blocked a couple of rooms. After Valentine’s Day, things have started to slow a bit. We are still hosting most nights, but our overall occupancy is about 50%. We are not surprised by this slowdown, as we were told by the former owners that they always took a vacation in February–their lightest month. Darrell and I are trying to remember to appreciate these times because we know it will ramp back up as the spring comes. He and I have had some nice lunches out and explored some new villages. It is a different way of life though, depending on business to pay the bills and not a steady check in a set amount that we would get every two weeks in our old jobs. The joy of entrepreneurship!

We continue to enjoy meeting our guests and new people. Every day I feel like I learn new things about being an innkeeper…like the importance of serving soft butter with bread in the morning, ensuring the rooms are warm when guests check in, and being sure to find out the night before if they prefer coffee or tea, so I can have it ready when they come downstairs. We’ve had good reviews and people appreciate our attentiveness, the cleanliness (Darrell’s meticulously clean bathrooms are noticed), and the cozy and welcoming atmosphere. French guests are tough with their reviews though, they may give every aspect a 10, but give an 8 for an overall rating without any comment or feedback. We’re learning to just connect with each guest and not worry too much about the scores. It’s like I tried to share with my students, “don’t be so worried about getting an A that you forget to enjoy the learning and the experience of our classroom.”

Another big development with our business is that we are now officially registered as a business in both France and our department (our chambres d’hotes was recognized by the Maire of the village some time ago)–this has to be done in your first couple of months, and we were fortunate to get connected with someone local, who speaks French, who helped us file all the correct paperwork (including our marriage license!) We are now set up as micro-entrepreneurs in France and this will pave the way for our health insurance, our taxes (yay!), and many other aspects of business. We have a SIRET number for our business that has to be added to all of our invoices, and all of this had to be set up for our residence cards, which we have also applied for.

We’ve begun to meet other business owners, neighbors, and folks in our village, who now know we’ve bought Repos, and they are eager to share our information with their customers, family, and friends who need a place to stay. One of our French neighbors stopped us on the way to the Friday market the other day and shared with us in very animated French that we needed a sign out front to say we were open. We finally learned what he was trying to say by having him speak into Google Translate (thanks heavens for that app!) So…our next big project is to work on signage and lighting outside the B&B, so that not only is it clear we are open, but that we also fully comply with French rules about what B&Bs must post outside (tariffs, hours, etc.) There are no shortage of rules here, but people are helpful and kind and truly want us to be successful. Interesting note, as Americans, we think almost all marketing is online–not necessarily so in a small French village, where word of mouth, personal connection, and the written word is still very important.

French Lessons:

There are so many, many things we are learning about France. Fun and quirky things like the grocery stores having fold down seats right in the middle of them, so that if you get tired you have a place to sit (genius!) and how our French guests seem to make it their mission to leave the room as clean as humanly possible. I’ve posted a picture below of how one guest left the room today–they literally stripped the linens for me and folded all the blankets! Our French guests love having an after-breakfast cigarette with their morning coffee, which we allow out in our courtyard, and in a land full of amazing boulangeries and patisseries, you should see the grocery store aisles FULL of pre-packaged cookies, snacks, and treats (there is definitely a sweet tooth or two here). A three course meal at lunch with wine, during the week, is absolutely part of the culture, and no meal is really complete without an espresso to top it off.

One of my favorite places to observe French life is at our Friday market–it seems the entire village turns out to meander with their French market baskets (everyone has one) and they fill them up with fresh vegetables, cheeses, meats, seafoods (we have a vendor who comes from the coast), breads, honey, jams, wine, and the list goes on. We also have truffles! After they fill their baskets, they sit with neighbors and friends at the cafes surrounding the square and have a coffee and a croissant. This happens every single Friday…rain or shine! Before coming to France, I thought it might be a cliche’ to see someone walking with five baguettes home from work–no, it really happens.

It also really happens, though not as often after COVID, that the French give one another les bises (a kiss on each cheek) when greeting one another. They also really say “bonjour” to everyone and “bonne journée” and “au revoir” when they leave. I had one guest ask me the other day, “In America, are you really as abrupt as we see in the TV shows and movies? Do you really tell one another to ‘shut up’ and hang up the phone on each other without saying goodbye?” I said, “no, we are usually more polite than that, of course it depends on where you live.” As I thought more though, I realized we are a bit more direct and sometimes abrupt. I like that there is a beginning and an ending to every interaction here, there is acknowledgement of people, and there really is nothing like hearing “enchanté” when you meet someone the first time in France.

Speaking of French words, we are doing our best to learn more French. “Peu a’ peu” or little by little, we are. There are times I wish I could just snap my fingers and I could speak it fluently. The important thing is that I try. Another guest told us that the French are greatly understanding of those who try to speak French–they don’t expect us to be perfect–take a risk. I realized talking with many of our French guests who know very little English, that they too are nervous about trying to speak a language they don’t know well. It’s very powerful when we both give one another encouragement and support to do our best in the language that is not native to us. I’ve bonded with many guests over our mutual willingness to take that risk to speak words we may not pronounce perfectly. One of my favorite recent experiences was one of our guests who spoke very little English and was staying with us for a few days, and yet each day I would hear him use more English words and phrases. On his last night here, he asked me when he came in, “Did you have a good day, today?” in a perfect American accent and then he grinned really wide–not sure how long he practiced it, but I was so touched that he made the effort.

So…I guess that is the overall “fragrance” of this potpourri…kindness. Don’t get me wrong, there can be some “putrid” parts, but the overall truth is we have experienced incredible kindness in our new French life…encouraging words, nuggets of wisdom and advice, smiles, efforts to communicate with us, and even a seat in the grocery store!