A Cariad Life

This journey started just less than a year ago with what began as a gentle nudging in my heart to consider a new path…I had lost myself in my current job, and I found myself in a work culture that was not in alignment with who I was and wanted to be. (sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis, right?) It was in reality an awakening and a realization that we always have a choice; we are not victims to our circumstances–we can choose, though there is a cost. I recognized that, God willing, I had about 15 more years of work–how did I want to invest those final years? What would I do that most aligned with my passion to live authentically, relationally, and purposefully? What were we as a couple called to do next?

Now, almost 11 months later, we are one week away from all of those dreams and wonderings becoming very real. We just learned yesterday that the closing date to buy the B&B is Tuesday, December 6–the tentative date had been December 9. Paul and Lesley will go to the notaire’s office at 10am on the 6th to sign papers, and because we have given a lawyer there power of attorney, they will sign for us. Just this morning, we were sent instructions for how to deposit the remaining funds for the purchase. (we’re hoping the exchange rate becomes more favorable by the time we wire the funds tomorrow). We are also required to provide proof that we have insurance in place on date of sale–Darrell just completed that process this morning. This means that on December 6–we will be property owners in France!

Our plane tickets for France are on December 6, and we arrive in our new village of Riberac on the afternoon of December 7. We are working this week to have the gas, electric, and water/sewer transferred to us starting on December 6, so we have a nice warm home with running water and electricity to come home to. So…when will we start having guests and running the actual business?

Here is where this journey has gotten interesting and a bit complicated…as of today, we still don’t have our visas or our passports. The final step, the approval of “creation d’enterprise,” with the French government still hasn’t happened–it is required for our visas to be approved. We must have a visa to run a business in France. Surely, we are stressed, right? Well, it certainly is not the timing I would choose, but it is where we are.

Back when I was a CHRO, and we had a really difficult situation to navigate requiring us to make difficult decisions that included things that were beyond our control (i.e. the state government shutting down fitness facilities during COVID and having 2/3 of your employees working in a fitness facility), I would ask my team this question, “what do we know for sure?” I have found that when we mix fact with conjecture and spend time complaining about reality, it just creates a lot of angst, worry, and distraction–better to focus on the facts, what you know for sure at the time, when making a difficult decision. This includes not arguing with reality–the quicker we can face reality and respond, instead of arguing with what we don’t like, the better. Here is what we know for sure:

–we have tickets to France next week and we will have a home in which to live as of December 6
–we can travel to France without a visa and stay in our new home for up to 3 months at a time, if our passports are returned to us before we leave
–the consulate has offered to place our visa in “pending” status and return our passports to us so we can fly at our designated date
–our boys and Chloe also have tickets to fly to France for Christmas and plan to be there December 18–27
–we cannot host paying guests at our B&B until we have visas, but we can work on the home itself, prepare social media and marketing materials, etc.
–the “creation d’enterprise” takes an average of 2 months to be approved and we submitted on November 16–though we have learned approvals are usually quicker than this; if it is 2 months, it could be mid-January before we have an approved visa
–if we choose to go to France, without a visa, we will have to return to the US once the visa is approved, so it can be added to our passports–flying back and returning would be an added expense
–Darrell and I have the option to stay in NYC through December, as my brother and sister-in-law have graciously offered to allow us to stay at their place–it would require that we change our tickets and possibly the kids’ tickets (a different added expense) and would prolong the time before we are at our new home.

So…what do we do? Go to France next week and come back to get our visa when it is approved (notice I did not say, “if”–I can’t even go there right now) or stay in the US and wait for the visa? Of course, the best option would be that in this week, our application is approved and we leave for France with our visas. This is part of the adventure…riding these twists and turns. One day, we will look back on this and say, “wasn’t that crazy?!” and I know that it will all work out–it always does.

One thing is for certain–even with all of this uncertainty, I would take this journey all over again. Darrell and I have never been closer; I am watching my sons bloom in their new independence; and, I feel alive and I see my true self in all of this. I saw a shirt on Facebook the other day that I really need to get–it said “Je ne regrette rien”–I regret nothing. We’ll keep you posted!