A Cariad Life

January 31, 2026

Over the last two months, the Facebook memories keep popping up on my feed…three years ago in December we had just moved to France. I still remember the emotions of holding up our passports that had just been returned to us from the French embassy in time to make our early December flight to Paris from JFK. I remember posting about trying to get the water and electric hooked up and our first few mornings in France–exciting, scary, exhilarating. After almost a year in France, then two years relocating to the east coast, and setting up a home in North Carolina, just 118 miles from where I was born, I feel more than ever that my life has come full circle. I am on the other side of big, audacious dream, and what have I finally begun to learn on this side of 50? Contentment.

What is contentment? I used to think it meant accepting life as is, the boring parts with the occasional predictable “fun” thrown in. Maybe even a lack of curiosity or adventure, preferring the expected, the ordinary. Garth Brooks sings, “life is not tried, it is merely survived if you’re standing outside of the fire.” So…I would run toward the fire, take the chance, dare to beat the odds, do what others only dream of–milk life for all that it has. Anything but just “surviving.” Contentment seemed the opposite of that…for a long time to me, it meant “settling” when there was opportunity to be had.

After France, I came back proud of the adventure, but also a bit humbled. It had been harder than I realized. I was a bit bruised and shamed by the impact my zest for adventure had on my loved ones and myself. I jumped into a work opportunity that deep down I knew was going to be trouble…and it was. So, I left after 11 months, with a bit more shame that I hadn’t listened to what I knew all along. This led me to my cross-country drive in the fall of 2024–I spent so much time with myself those 5 days I had to confront a few things about myself. Why wasn’t I content? Why was there always another chase? My desire for accomplishments was such a drive that just being wasn’t enough. I also knew I needed a hard reset, so in November 2024 I took a role that was well below any salary I had earned in the last 15 years. In this new role, I was working remotely and the pace was slow enough that I could really lean in to refining systems and processes–diving deep into the details. Do quality work and also have time for work/life balance.

In this last year, I just did my job day in and day out–I looked for ways to make “my little garden” of responsibility the best it could be and I built rapport with our senior leadership team. This past October, I was promoted and received a sizable increase in pay, and yet my work/life balance has remained steady and healthy. Darrell and I also bought a house in Fuquay-Varina, a small town about 30 minutes south of Raleigh–everyday it reminds me of Asheboro, where I grew up (and thought I had outgrown:) Our house is a sanctuary at the end of a road, surrounded by trees. Darrell started a new job at our church in January. Our boys visited us this Christmas, and we have begun to make friends in our new community. We work, go to church, work out at our local gym several times a week, see our parents every month, and go to Costco…pretty ordinary (and hardly anything I thought would be worth blogging about). Yet, here is what I have learned…contentment is not boring; it is recognizing the amazing, wonderful opportunities that surround you every day and being incredibly grateful for every thing, big and small.

Darrell shows me this when he always asks the clerk at the grocery store (looking them in the eye), “And how is your day going today?” They almost every time stop and say, “It’s going pretty well…I am really looking forward to ….” and then they just tell their story. They almost always say, “thank you for asking–that’s the first time all day anyone has asked.” He comments afterwards to me, “isn’t amazing what you learn, when you just take the time to ask.” People appreciate being seen, and we learn and connect with humanity by asking.

Today, contentment for me looked like enjoying a “snow day” with no snow. All of NC got about 4+ inches of snow today, not Raleigh…we were in the dreaded donut hole or “dry spot” of NC…no snow. It could have felt like a waste and certainly there are fears of missing out when everyone around us is posting pictures of sledding and strolling in the snow (North Carolinians really like a good snow). But while Darrell and I walked in the frigid temperatures on dry ground today, I was content. I enjoyed sleeping in, an extra cup of coffee, and finishing a book (and I didn’t have to help shovel).

Contentment doesn’t mean I don’t dream and think about exciting cool things to learn, do, and experience…it does mean that I am beginning to see all those things around me now, and it means that every day I get to choose to be curious about the people life allows me to interact with, experiences that are uniquely mine due to my life circumstances, and the beauty I get to experience in my everyday life. Interesting that I had to run all over the country and the US to learn these lessons. Don’t worry there will still be adventure, but I am content at home and most importantly, content with me.