A Cariad Life

First, an update–we are still waiting for approval of our visas. The Visa Tracker says, “Your visa application has been sent to Consulate General of France in Washington DC for further processing.” This has been the message for the last few weeks–we are trying to wait patiently for the approval and for the return of our passports, but it is hard. Meanwhile, Darrell and I are hard at work learning French (2-3 hours/day), sending off a few boxes to France (summer clothes and our bedding), and wrapping up final details here. In this last month, we’ve ensured Caleb visited the Dr., so he can have updated prescriptions for his eyes and asthma, ordered new glasses for him, got my hair cut, ordered a six month supply of contacts for me, transitioned Coco to Bellingham, went to the dentist, prepared my car to sell by the end of the month…the list seems endless.

Alas, the end of our time here in the Pacific Northwest is quickly approaching. Darrell will fly out for a business trip to Colorado on Sunday, 10/30 and will fly back Friday, November 4, where he will join me, Noah, and Caleb for a last dinner near Sea-Tac, and then he and I will stay the night at a hotel before our 7:30am flight to North Carolina the next day. This means that Darrell’s last night at our temporary home in the PNW is October 29 and this is his last week in the office. This past weekend, our boys along with Noah’s girlfriend, Chloe, and our dog, Coco, spent the weekend with us–our last one with all of them in the US for the foreseeable future. It was wonderful to eat together, play games, and enjoy the beautiful souls each of them are.

I’m adding Darrell’s blog post about his feelings about these “lasts”–I appreciate his heart and how he holds the good and the bad at the same time. He captures many of my thoughts and feeling too–it is bittersweet to leave. Dr. Henry Cloud has written a book called, “Necessary Endings.” It’s basic premise is that for new things to begin, other things have to end. It doesn’t mean that friendships and connections end, but they do change and they have to do that so that you can invest in the next new chapter. Think about us please in these next couple of weeks as we say goodbye to our friends and family here. Here are Darrell’s thoughts…

WEEK OF LASTS by Darrell Martin

I was dealing with several conflicting emotions this morning. As I stood in the doorway with my coffee looking out over Gamble Bay, the sight was beautiful and serene. In that moment, I felt like I could punch someone or something; I felt like I could cry; I felt excited; I felt sad; and, I felt frustrated. I know what this is–this is me grieving as I realize I am beginning my “week of lasts.” Moriah has an additional week here in the PNW, but not me. This time next week, I will be in Denver for a week-long work conference. The following week at this time we will be on the East Coast, moving into a new place to live for a short while before continuing our French adventure. And so it begins, my Week of Lasts. 

Our children were here visiting this weekend, including Noah’s girlfriend Chloe and Coco. This will be the last time (for a while) that we will all gather for a weekend. As Coco continues to age, this may be the last time we see her. Today, we took our last drive around the old neighborhood and our last meal at Miguelitos (a Caleb special request). Today was the last time I will gather with my local church family here on the island, no more newlife Sunday gatherings. My work, as I know it, is finishing up this week. This will be my last week of working in the office and because of that, my role at the company will change (though we haven’t worked out what that looks like yet). This will be the last week that I see most of my coworkers and PNW friends face-to-face. No more Tuesday men’s small group and no more coffees or lunches with these friends. Just the thought of it makes me sad. Many of you (from work, church, and my community) have invested time and energy into our friendship and have been a help and an encouragement to me. Thank you. I am grateful for you and I will miss you. Though it often happens, I sincerely hope we do not lose touch.

As I prepare to face this week, I am confronted with even more emotions: regrets about things I did not experience and people I did not get to know better, sadness about people and places I want to see one last time but will not have the opportunity, mixed emotions about things at work and at church that I wish had worked out differently. On the other hand, there are positive feelings too. Although there have been tough times, I have really enjoyed living here and am thankful that we made the leap nine and a half years ago to follow the call to Bainbridge Island. Also, I can look back and know that I poured my heart and life into my family, my church, and my work. I don’t feel like I held anything back and have no regrets about that. Also, though it feels conceited to say it out loud, I believe those areas of my life are better off. I think my family, my church(es), and my work are better off with me having been involved. They will go on, succeed and grow without me, but I left my mark; I leave behind the love, empathy, compassion, and encouragement that God shared through me.

I know it may be “normal” but it is quite strange to feel sadness and excitement at the same time. I am excited about the future and for whatever God has for us next, both in France and while we are on the East Coast. I am sad to leave but I also don’t want to stay. I know it is time. This will be a tough “Week of Lasts” but I know it will be followed by many “new beginnings.”